"Albuquerque" is the last song of "Weird Al" Yankovic's Running with Scissors album. At 11 minutes and 22 seconds, it is the longest song Yankovic has ever released on any of his official studio albums.
With the exception of the choruses and occasional bridges, the track is mostly a spoken word narration about Yankovic's made-up life in Albuquerque, New Mexico, after winning a first-class one-way airplane ticket to the city. According to Yankovic, the song is in the style of the "hard-driving rock narrative" of artists like The Rugburns, Mojo Nixon and George Thorogood.
Song and lyrics
Yankovic set off to write the lengthy song, considering it as a final track for Running with Scissors. The long meandering story was not expected to be popular and instead Yankovic wanted to compose a song "that's just going to annoy people for 12 minutes," making it feel like an "odyssey" for the listener after making it through to the end. Yankovic described writing the song as "free flowing," writing down a great deal of material he thought would be funny including previous ancedotes he had recorded, and trimming it down to form a lengthy "semi-cohesive story." The lyrics were too long to include in the liner notes for the album (it literally ends midsentence and goes into a written apology by Al), though full lyrics were posted to Yankovic's website.
During a stagecoach holdup, Celia Wallace is robbed of $10,000 and little Myrtle Walton is saved from the runaway horses by a passenger, Cole Armin.
Celia is grateful until she learns Cole is coming to Albuquerque to work for his uncle, John Armin, a ruthless freight-line owner who stops at nothing to put competitors Celia and her brother Ted out of business.
Concluding that his uncle was even behind the robbery, Cole switches sides to work for the Wallaces. Armin uses a woman, Letty Tyler, to spy on his adversaries, but she resents being used when a mine is blown up and Ted is wounded by gunfire.